fear noun 1 anxiety and distress caused by the awareness of danger or expectation of pain.
I have certain image of myself, but I am so aware that that picture does not match up to how I actually am. I am also increasingly aware that perhaps others can see that I don't match up to the image that I have of myself. I don't care too much about that, but I do care that they are right. Recently I took up climbing and after a break of about 5 years (post injury) have started a bit of free running again. I love both of these. When I close my eyes and think on them I can see myself achieving the challenges and routes that I cannot achieve in practice, and the difference between me being able to do these things in my imagination and not being able to do them for real is not my physical ability, but rather the amount of fear that factors when it comes to the real.
Thinking on my background and where I've come from it is no surprise that fear is such a challenge to me, it is a hard challenge and one that I have spent the past year working on and will spend the coming year continuing to work on. The restricting and binding thing about fear is that it prevents you from doing the things that you want to do, it holds you back and ultimately stands in the way of you being the person you are meant to be because your passions and the things that you want to do are such an intrinsic part of you being you. For me these are physical, fears of injury. It seems no surprise that with such a fear that God has given me such a passion for disciplines like climbing and parkour which ultimately require me to either conquer my fear or never progress. It always seems to be the way that when you have something, like fear, that you want God to help you sort out, He never just removes it but instead provides you with opportunities to trust Him to help you overcome them.
So where from here?
It has been a significant lesson in my spiritual walk to learn that through God I can do anything. It seems pretty standard for a Christian but when you let that truth make a 12 inch journey from your head to your heart, you can really begin to see the power of God manifest in your life, transform you and replace your struggles with the good things He promises. My fear is a product of my past. These are things that are gone, things that are done that are effecting how I am now and my potential to move forward; here's a lesson for everyone:
Thinking on my background and where I've come from it is no surprise that fear is such a challenge to me, it is a hard challenge and one that I have spent the past year working on and will spend the coming year continuing to work on. The restricting and binding thing about fear is that it prevents you from doing the things that you want to do, it holds you back and ultimately stands in the way of you being the person you are meant to be because your passions and the things that you want to do are such an intrinsic part of you being you. For me these are physical, fears of injury. It seems no surprise that with such a fear that God has given me such a passion for disciplines like climbing and parkour which ultimately require me to either conquer my fear or never progress. It always seems to be the way that when you have something, like fear, that you want God to help you sort out, He never just removes it but instead provides you with opportunities to trust Him to help you overcome them.
So where from here?
It has been a significant lesson in my spiritual walk to learn that through God I can do anything. It seems pretty standard for a Christian but when you let that truth make a 12 inch journey from your head to your heart, you can really begin to see the power of God manifest in your life, transform you and replace your struggles with the good things He promises. My fear is a product of my past. These are things that are gone, things that are done that are effecting how I am now and my potential to move forward; here's a lesson for everyone:
don't allow any part of your past manipulate your future
'The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,' says the Lord Almighty. 'And in this place I will grant peace,' declares the Lord Almighty."
If you are thinking, and dwelling and living out things, negative things that have happened in the past, then there is no way that you can step into the glory that God has in store for you in the future. It takes prayer and discipline and determination. This passage from Haggai declares that promise:
'The glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house,' says the Lord Almighty. 'And in this place I will grant peace,' declares the Lord Almighty."
-Haggai 8:9
The promise of God here is that what is to come will be much better than what as past; that the plan he has laid out will only get better and that this will bring about peace. So if I am moving forward, trusting in God to help me overcome my fears of injury and my doubt about my own abilities then my future glory will be greater than the former glory, it will be great success in these areas, and if God declares that He will grant peace, then I can believe that fear will something far removed from my life; because peace is very much the antithesis of fear. You will rarely find peace in a fearful person and vise versa you will be hard pushed to find a person who has real peace consumed by fear.
So the challenge that I am laying down in front of myself is to do things that scare me. And when I come across a climbing route or a jump that just terrifies me to the point where I make up an absurd amount of reasons not to to do it...to do it anyway. And at every moment to pray, to allow God to be in control of it and for the Holy Spirit to flow through me and improve me from the inside out, and by this see change manifest in me. Always improving, always looking up, moving forward. Taking leaps. Conquering mountains.
So the challenge that I am laying down in front of myself is to do things that scare me. And when I come across a climbing route or a jump that just terrifies me to the point where I make up an absurd amount of reasons not to to do it...to do it anyway. And at every moment to pray, to allow God to be in control of it and for the Holy Spirit to flow through me and improve me from the inside out, and by this see change manifest in me. Always improving, always looking up, moving forward. Taking leaps. Conquering mountains.
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